200 Funny Dog Quotes for Instagram

Looking for some funny dog quotes for Instagram? We love spending time on Instagram with other dog lovers and are always looking for new furry pals to follow our journey. 

Instagram is a very visual platform, so you might have a great picture or video…but what about the caption? It can be difficult to come up with funny dog quotes and captions for Instagram. 

We’ve got you covered with 200 funny dog quotes, which should keep you busy for months and months to come. As a Cocker Spaniel blog, you know there are a bunch of Cocker Spaniel puns and captions for Instagram, too.

In this post, you’ll find:

• Funny captions
• Funny dog quotes 
• Puppy quotes and captions
• Cocker Spaniel captions
• Little dog quotes
• Big dog quotes
• Dog mom and dog dad captions 

and much, much more….

​You’ll find the perfect caption, great quotes, and many great ideas for your next Instagram post, reel, or story of girl’s best friend and man’s best friend. 

Oh, and we will follow your dog’s Instagram account back when you follow us @FidoseofReality. YAY!

Best Funny Dog Quotes for Instagram

1. “I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn’t excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother.” —Bonnie Schacter
2. “I wonder if other dogs think Poodles are members of a weird religious cult.” — Rita Rudner
3. “You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’ ” — Dave Barry
4. “If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.” — Fran Lebowitz
5. “My fashion philosophy is, if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.” —Elayne Boosler
6. “Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?” – Jerry Seinfeld
7. “A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.” – Helen Thomson
8. “Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.” – Franklin P. Jones
9. “Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!” – Steve Bluestone
10. “Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant” – John Peer
11. “Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later” – Mary Bly
12. “When an 85-pound mammal licks your tears away, then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad.” — Kristan Higgins
13. “Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!” — Anne Tyler
14. I don’t think twice about picking up my dog’s poop, but if another dog’s poop is next to it, I think, ‘Eww, dog poop!’” — Jonah Goldberg
15. “Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mailman is not to be trusted.” — Sian Ford
16. “You can trust your dog to guard your house, but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.” ― Lani Lynn Vale, Another One Bites the Dust
17. “Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.” — Max Eastman
18. “Dogs are my favorite people.” — Richard Dean Anderson
19. “I’ve seen a look in dogs eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that dogs think humans are nuts.” — John Steinbeck
20. “People teach their dog to sit; it’s a trick. I’ve been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.” — Mitch Hedberg
21. “Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.” — Sue Murphy
22. “If I had a pound for every time my dog made me smile… I’d be a Millionaire.” — Steph Harris
23. “Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.” — John Peer
24. “What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job!” — George Carlin
25. “In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.” — Edward Hoagland

Funny Dog Instagram Captions

1. Beware! Dog can’t hold its licker!
2. Choosing a dog may be the only chance you get to pick a relative.
3. The more people I meet, the more I love my dog.
4. Dogs over dudes.
5. Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.
6. Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I’ll be watching you.
7. I named my dog 10 miles so I can tell people I walk 10 miles a day.
8. Choosing a dog may be the only chance you get to pick a relative
9. You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.
10. If you want the best seat in the house, you’ll have to move the dog.
11. Eat, sleep, cuddle, repeat.
12. When nothing is going right, chase squirrels.
13. My dog is not lazy, he’s on energy-saving mode.
14. This is my resting bark face.
15. I am no antisocial. I am just pro-dog.
16. Not a morning person, but my dog is.
17. My dog is not spoiled; he’s just selectively pampered.
18. Dog hair. Don’t care.
19. Sorry, I can’t. I have plans with my dog.
20. I’m not spoiled, I just happen to be great at training my humans
21. It’s not dog hair, it’s canine glitter.
22. If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three treats in your pocket and only giving him two.
23. Drool is a liquid hug.
24. When in doubt, wag it out.
25. This cute face powered by belly rubs.
26. It really is the dog’s house. We just pay the bills.
27. Gotta risk it for the biscuit.
28. Sweet dreams are made of treats.
29. We have the ulti-mutt friendship.
30. It’s my paw-ty, I can bark if I want to!

Cocker Spaniel Captions for Instagram (30)

1. King (or Queen) of Wigglebutts
2. I’m a cutie with a booty
3. I don’t shed, I emit magical fibers of love
4. My belly won’t just rub itself
5. I am one gorgeous mutha fluffa
6. Guess what? Cocker butt
7. You look like I need a treat
8. My ball won’t throw itself
9. Squirrel patrol
10. I still live with my paw-rents
11. Happy go licky
12. I am not old, I am vintage.
13. Motivational barker
14. Floof alert
15. Cold nose but warm heart
16. Alert: I think with my stomach
17. One part dog, one frog. I’m a ‘Croaker Spaniel.’
18. Cocker Spaniels own your heart and then your couch, your house, your bank account….
19. My parent has OCD: Obsessive Cocker Disorder.
20. I love you from ear to ear.
21. Cocker Spaniels and wine make everything fine.
22. My parent was normal two Cocker Spaniels ago.
23. I love Cocker butts and I cannot lie.
24. I won’t retrieve a ball because I’m too far fetched.
25. If someone played me in a movie, I’d want it to be Spaniel Radcliffe.

Dog Owners: Dog Moms and Dog Dads Quotes and Captions (30)

1. Dog Mom AF.
2. Dog Daddy AF.
3. I am the Dog Father.
4. What I like most about people is their dogs.
5. If you’re uncomfortable around my dog, I’m happy to lock you in the other room when you come over.
6. It’s OK if you don’t like my dog, not everyone has good taste.
7. Life without a dog is like an unsharpened pencil. It has no point.
8. Leave me alone – I’m only speaking to dogs today.
9. If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
10. A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.
11. It’s the dog’s house. We just pay the bills.
12. Have your people call my people.
13. With all the pictures I take of my dog, I might as well be the pup-arazzi.
14. My dog can really take a bite out of crime, but he also takes a bite out of my sandwich when I’m not looking.
15. My dog wants to be an artist, but all she could paint are ruff sketches.
16. Being your Instagram pal is the leash I could do.
17. It’s raining cats and dogs. That’s fine, as long as it doesn’t reindeer.
18. Going to a bark-B-Q.
19. My dog is my favorite cardio partner. We call it ‘barkletics.’
20. I’m not antisocial; I’m just pro-dog.
21. Dog hair, don’t care.
22. My dog is not spoiled; he’s just selectively pampered.
23. I only roll out of bed early for two things: fresh coffee and my dog’s urgent need to pee.
24. My dog is my personal happiness engineer.
25. Every meal is a three-course meal when you’re a dog. Sniff, chew, repeat.
26. My dog’s favorite pastime: watching me pretend to throw a ball and then searching for it for an hour.
27. Life goal: to be as cool as my dog thinks I am.
28. If you don’t talk to your dog in a silly voice, are you even a dog parent?
29. I’m not a dog parent; I’m a poop-scooping, treat-dispensing superhero.
30. My dog and I are not lazy; we’re in energy-saving mode.

Naughty Dog Instagram Captions (20)

1. I don’t always bark at night. But when I do, it’s for no reason.
2. Cute but psycho.
3. Warning: Counter surfer alert.
4. I can go from hungry to hangry in 3….2….
5. I risk it for a biscuit.
6. I’m why we can’t have nice things.
7. I have more issues than Vogue.
8. I am not overweight, I am extra fluffy.
9. Personal space invader. Expert level.
10. I have selective hearing disorder.
11. The grass is greener beneath my weiner.
12. Fetch it yourself.
13. I know I’m cute, but my heart belongs to my mom (or dad.)
14. Oops. Did I roll my eyes out loud?
15. I shih-tzu not.
16. Mama’s little yelper.
17. My dog is my fur-st mate
18. Don’t go bacon my heart and say you’ll be my Instagram pal.
19. Please fur-give me.
20.  Paw-don the inter-ruff-tion.
21. I bought my puppy a calculator so I could have a friend to count on. 
22. I had to throw out my puppy’s mattress. It had bed-Pugs.
23. My puppy is a thief. He’s already stolen my heart.
24. Dracula got himself a new puppy. It’s a Bloodhound.
25. My puppy must think I’m the backyard because she really digs me.

Puppy Captions for Instagram (25)

1. Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.
2. Look at us, we’re a cuddle puddle.
3. I may snooze, but I’ll never lose.
4. Handle every situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.
5. Poops I did it again.
6. To do list: Eat. Sleep. Play. Poop. Repeat.
7. Obedience school dropout.
8. Bad to the bone.
9. Extra and proud of it.
10. Feeling cute. Might pee on the floor later.
11. Welcome to the bark side.
12. Expensive AF but worth it.
13. High maintenance. It is what it is.
14. All star licker.
15. Hi. My name is no no leave it.
16. I’m all about Miss Behavin’.
17. Lick me. I’m Irish.
18. Don’t terrier-self up over one mistake.
19. Collie me. Maybe.
20. I woof you to the moon and back. 
21. Hey, this place looks fur-miliar.
22. Let me paw you a drink from the tap.
23. Wait, I am adopted? That is mind beagle-ing!
24. I am the most  most pup-ular little one at the park.
25. Life would be ruff without you

Little Dog Instagram Captions

1. What I lack in size I make up for in heart
2. Proud member of HDA: Hole Diggers Anonymous
3. Little dog with a big attitude
4. Big dog in a little body
5. I am re-barkable for my size
6. Itty bitty bark machine
7. Micro mutt magic
8. Wee woof warrior in action
9. Compact canine charmer alert
10. Mini mutt but mega mischief
11. Petite pooch perfection in the house
12. You can’t buy happiness, but you can adopt it.
13. All you need is love and a little dog.
14. Time for football? I will be the fluff-eree.
15. The puggle struggle is real.
16. The Chihuahua is an excellent banker – it always knows how to count its “paw”-cket change.
17. The tiny dog tried its hand at acting – it got the lead role in the “bark”-umentary.
18. My small dog’s favorite dessert is paw-stry.
19. My little dog loves his favorite summertime treat of pupsicles.
20. My little dog won’t sit in the sun because he doesn’t want to become a hot dog!

Big Dog Instagram Captions

1. I am luv-a-bull
2. I’m a lover not a biter
3. Quit hounding me
4. Colossal canine charm
5. Mighty mutt with a mighty big heart
6. Jumbo joy bringer
7. Huge-hearted hound alert
8. Towering tail-wagger
9. Big buddy = big love
10. Grand-sized goofball
11. Goliath-sized goodness
12. Don’t let my size scare you; I am more to cuddle
13. Big dog energy: A force to be reckoned with.
14. Warning: Slobber zone – big dog alert.
15. Size isn’t everything, but for my dog, it is.
16. Gentle giant or giant derp? You decide.
17. This is my ‘trying to fit in your lap face.’
18. Who needs a guard dog when you can have a giant cuddle monster?
19. Dog this collar make my dog look big?
20. Big dog, big dreams, big naps.

We hope you’ve enjoyed our funny dog quotes for Instagram along with all the captions and humorous things we’ve shared. Don’t miss our Cocker Spaniel meme collection for extra smiles.